Day One Two One: Importance of Independent Decisions

Sometimes you can get frustrated if you feel your SO isn’t doing anything special where they are. They’re just sitting around doing regular things, no special internship or job in their routine. This can be incredibly disheartening because you feel they could do the same exact thing closer to you. And perhaps you’re right, but you shouldn’t focus on that.

You need to accept your SO’s decision (no matter how silly or selfish you think it is) because ultimately it’s that support you give that will help sustain your relationship. So what if your SO isn’t doing much? You can still do awesome things wherever you are and feel good about yourself for having an awesome life. Of course you want to see your SO more often, but you can’t be upset with them for a decision they made….it’s not your life!

So if your partner is overseas working in a cafรฉ or volunteering at a park, don’t feel like they’re wasting their time. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. But it is their life and their decision. Respect their individuality and support them through the decision.

This is not to say you can’t occasionally ask them what they’re doing with their life (sometimes they need someone to put things into perspective), but you should try and shine some positive light on the situation. Yes, they chose to move away (or stay where they were, depending on your situation), but maybe they are happy just living in a different country. Try and motivate them to get the very best out of the opportunity. Adjusting to a different culture can be difficult, so support them through it and show that you care (even if you really just want to tell them it’s stupid and they should come home).

If you try to tell them to start doing something with their life and come back to you, it can negatively affect your relationship. Don’t take that risk. Be supportive and help them to make the best life for them…wherever it may be. As long as you are both honest with your future plans (setting a prospective end date) from the start, this will work. They might not have amazing stories about their time abroad, but they experienced life in their own way. And eventually the gap will close and all that will matter is your togetherness.

So stick it out, be supportive, and watch that distance slowly shrink!


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