Lately my mind has been spinning around all of the possibilities of the future. Do I stay in the USA while Jay moves to Holland? Maybe I can go to grad school as well….or should I try and find a job in the Netherlands? With all of these possibilities it’s difficult to form a decision.
For all of you facing similar situations, try taking a step back and waiting a week. If you can remove the issue from your mind for a while you can free it up to experience all of the great things in the present. I was getting flustered with all of the “what if” ideas floating in my head. So I decided to focus on what makes me happy when I’m with Jay. And let me tell you…the list is long! But even then, I kept thinking about the possible negativity in the future. Can we really survive this extended LDR? But then it clicked.
I met up with one of my good friends from my hometown the other day. She knows me very well and also knows Jay on a less familiar basis. She talked about the aspects of our relationship with me and gave her own opinions. But for some reason, this is when it all clicked. Just hearing someone else’s honest thoughts about me and Jay was extremely helpful. And hearing myself respond to her questions and thoughts taught me about what I really want in the future. Sometimes talking to someone slightly removed from the situation can shine some light onto the problem.
That being said, don’t go spreading your problem around to all of your friends and family. Make sure whoever you decide to talk to is a level-headed and open-minded individual. You want someone to act almost as a moderator to the conversation…a conversation you really are having with yourself. This person will ask questions that you may be afraid to ask yourself. They’ll point out important things to factor into your decision-making process. So choose this person wisely.
At the end of the day, all that really matters is yours and you SO’s happiness. So if you can’t come up with a decision by yourself, grab a friend to “mediate” the conversation. They may really help you discover your inner feelings on the subject so you can make a better informed choice.