One of the most difficult times in a LDR is when your SO is going through a rough patch. It can be extremely stressful trying to comfort someone, especially from across the globe! Jay recently found out he had bilateral inguinal hernias, one on each side of his abdomen. I tried to offer moral support in his decision on whether to get surgery now in Australia or wait about half a year to have the operation in the Netherlands.
Of course, I was slightly biased because Jay was supposed to fly in for a visit today. I was really hoping he would wait for the procedure so he could come here, but I also tried to be supportive of his choice. Of course I didn’t want him to be in lots of pain and would never want him to risk anything serious, so I respected his decision to get the surgery in Australia even though it meant he had to delay and shorten his visit.
Jay’s surgery was at 1pm his time, which is 11pm my time. Since it was supposed to take a max of 1 hour I told him I would try to stay awake until I heard from him. I lay awake for 3 hours, waiting for a text or some sort of message from Jay. At 2am I couldn’t keep my eyes open and I drifted off into a very restless sleep. My mind was racing with terrible thoughts. What if the surgery didn’t work? What if his hernias were worse than they thought? What if something happened to him?
I woke up for work feeling like I hadn’t slept at all that night. The first thing I did was check my phone and, to my extreme relief and happiness, Jay had left me a bunch of messages. The surgery went very well, but he had been on too much medication to contact me right away. I felt an immense weight lift off my chest, but I was still in a crappy mood. I wanted nothing more than to be there with him. I wanted to bring him snacks or watch tv with him. I wanted to make sure he was comfortable and help him sit up. More than anything I wanted to just be there for him.
How do you support someone from such a long distance? The past few days I’ve been checking in on Jay more than normal. We Skype nearly every day and I try to monitor his recovery progress. I’m happy to say that he is on day 5 of recovery and doing really well! He can sit up now without pain and seems to be almost back to his normal self.
It can be hard to show your support over seas, but I found that I was able to support Jay by listening to his concerns and making him smile during recovery. At times like these it is even more important to communicate well with your SO. Show them you care by keeping them upbeat and letting them know that you’re there for them. Before you know it things will be heading back to normal and you’ll feel even stronger as a couple.
Inspired by this LDR Writing Prompt: Support
Inspired by this LDR Writing Prompt: Fears