Don’t let arguments control your relationship. Take a deep breath and pause for a minute. When you have so much going against you already (time differences, distance, lack of money, etc…) you can’t let small issues take over your conversations. Jay and I rarely fight, but we do occasionally get annoyed at each other. We used to get upset over lots of simple things, even before the distance started, but now things have changed significantly…Here’s why:
It’s really not a big deal. This is a HUGE thing to remember. For the most part, your arguments are going to be caused by trivial things like your SO taking too long to respond or forgetting to tell you where they were going so they seem to “disappear” from the grid. These are such simple mistakes or habits that shouldn’t have a large impact on our relationship. If you’re finding that you get angry essentially over nothing then you need to stop and think for a second. Is this really something to get upset over?
Think before you speak. In the heat of the moment you may say something you don’t actually mean which can feed the flames of your fight. Don’t say something offensive and rude just because you’re angry. I promise this will only make your argument more hurtful to your relationship.
Don’t bring up the past. Sometimes a fight will bring back memories of your previous fights. No matter how much you want to, do NOT bring up past issues. These are separate problems that hold no weight in your current argument and will only release more toxicity into your relationship.
Stay Calm. Or…go back to being calm. If you feel the anger bubbling inside you, take a deep breath and think of somewhere relaxing so you can return to a calm state. Nothing will be resolved when you’re both yelling or snapping at each other. The calmer and more diplomatic you are with your conversation, the quicker you can move on and be back to your happy selves!
Move On. Once you reach an agreement or compromise, let go of the argument. The problem came up, it was dealt with, and now it should go in the past. There’s no point in focusing on an issue once it’s been handled because this will only cause more problems in the future.
Those are my top 5 tips for dealing with arguments in a LDR. There are too many things telling us that LDRs should fail, don’t let it happen! Stay calm and positive, avoid the past, and focus on what really matters: your love for one another.