It’s no surprise that LDRs are a controversial topic. Some people just don’t understand that type of relationship. Instead of trying to find out more about how a LDR may work, they turn to their own disbelief or doubts about LDRs. Others have limited experience with LDRs and have had no positive experiences with them. They reflect their negative opinions in their interactions with those in a LDR.
Whether you have friends or family members who are baffled by the idea of a LDR or just downright unsupportive, chances are you’ve heard these six “opinions” throughout your relationship:
- It won’t last. This one always bothers me. How do YOU know that my relationship won’t last? People always assume that LDRs are more susceptible to failure, but I’m failing to see the proof. All relationships have their obstacles, but with a LDR the main obstacle is just a little more obvious to the public eye. For some reason people feel the need to impose themselves into the lives of LDR couples and tell them the relationship won’t last, but you won’t see them walking in between a close distance couple telling them their relationship will fail.
- So when are you going to start dating again? This one gets me every. damn. time. Just because my boyfriend lives in another country doesn’t mean I need to fill some sort of void of him not being here. I will not start dating, but I will continue dating him. Thanks for asking.
- Aren’t you worried (s)he’ll cheat on you? Nope. If I was worried about that I don’t think it says great things about our relationship. I wasn’t worried when we lived close to one another and I’m not worried now. It’s kind of like when your older siblings move out to attend college. Do you trust them less? Nope, but if you do I’m fairly certain it has nothing to do with the distance.
- What if you fall for someone else? Umm, excuse me? How is that an appropriate question to ask someone in a LDR? You never hear someone asking people in close distance relationships this question. It’s not only incredibly rude, but it’s also insulting to those of us in LDRs. Sure, it’s possible that you will develop a crush on another person, but that doesn’t have to do with the distance in your relationship. There are several relationships that end due to these new “feelings” and it has nothing to do with the distance.
- I could never do it. Thanks for the….encouragement? I understand that a LDR is not for everybody, but I don’t need every one of my friends telling me that it’s “not for them.”
- You deserve better. This is almost like a backhanded compliment. On the one hand, they’re saying that you’re an awesome person and you deserve more…but on the other hand, how do they know that what you have isn’t already the best? Every person is different. Every relationship is different. What one person thinks is a bad aspect of the relationship, perhaps the distance, may not affect another person the same way. Plus…why is this a one-sided statement. If they had said “you both deserve better” then maybe I wouldn’t be as bothered by it, but instead they only felt sympathy for me. I don’t want your sympathy or your pity. I want your support and your friendship.
Don’t let the doubtful or the confused get you down. All of us LDR couples have been there. Thank your friends and family for caring about you (because ultimately that’s why they tell you these things), but kindly let them know that you don’t want to discuss your LDR with them. You want to surround yourself with positive energy rather than be confronted by negativity and doubt.