We all know that LDRs come with a stigma but, as I have discussed many times before, this generalization of LDRs is not valid. This is not to say that LDRs can have a negative impact on someone’s life. They are emotionally challenging and can start to take a more physical toll on someone.
Jay recently came to visit me. He was here for my birthday and Christmas, two occasions we have never spent together before. The visit was absolutely incredible for us. We traveled to New York City and Cape Cod, going on our own adventures and visiting my family. We ate at some of our favorite restaurants and tried new ones together. We were happy beyond measure for the entire trip. But then he left.
I drove him to the airport on New Year’s Eve and he flew back to the Netherlands. Obviously this wasn’t a big surprise to me. I knew exactly when his flight home was as soon as he booked the ticket, but it hit me hard.
This is the most difficult challenge for me in our LDR. Each of our visits is so amazing, but the period afterwards leaves me in a semi-depressed state. The high of our visit was so suddenly taken away from me that I’ve. felt uninterested and unmotivated in most things. I don’t feel like being very social and I go to bed much earlier. My body feels tense constantly and I can’t seem to shake the negativity from inside me.
This is the danger with LDRs. Visits are awesome, almost too awesome. The feeling you’re left with after a great visit leaves you empty and alone. It can cause unanticipated stress and decrease your desire to do anything.
So if you feel yourself slipping away from reality into your own bubble of sadness, tell somebody. Reach out to your SO, your family, or your friends. Make sure you talk it out. Try to get yourself to the gym to sweat out some negativity or surround yourself with things that make you happy. LDRs are difficult enough without dealing with the backlash of an awesome visit.