LDRs are filled with those romantic hopes of your SO buying a one-way ticket and moving in with you. They’re filled with the idea that sometime soon you will be starting a new chapter of your life…with the love of your life. The only problem is….there are so many obstacles in the way and not enough people to encourage you through the process. There are no popular movies showing the heartbreak and struggles of closing the distance. None of these mainstream films show the struggles of Visa applications and interviews. There rarely seems to be any mention of the cost of closing the distance either. Often times you just see characters chasing their loved one to the airport and buying a really expensive ticket just to see them again. But even though all of those seem to be missing, the one thing these romantic movies have (usually) is a happy ending.
Today I’m dreaming of what our happy ending to the distanct. I think about when Jay and I will finally be together for longer than a visit. I think about when one of us buys that one-way plane ticket to start a new stage in our lives. And I think about how it could happen this year.
Jay is finishing his master’s program this year and we had discussed what to do afterwards. Ideally we will move in together, but it’s not as much a question of “when” as it is a question of “who” will be moving. I’ve thought about moving to the Netherlands. I think it would be great. The idea of living in Europe has always been a dream of mine, perhaps just because of how they’re portrayed in movies. I began researching the logistics of moving and it got extremely stressful. I am not moving there without a residence or work permit, without a job, and without knowing Dutch. There is just too much stacked against me. My sister is also getting married this coming Fall (yay!) and I am a maid of honor for her wedding. There are a couple of other family reasons that I really cannot move away this year. So I finally told Jay this….
Of course, Jay has lived in the US before. He’s spent half of his live living here. But he is first and foremost a Dutchman and I think living there has really been something he enjoys. He’s doing really well in school, practicing his Dutch (he can speak it fluently, but used primarily English here), and really enjoying the European lifestyle. I don’t want to tear him away from somewhere he loves, but I tried to explain it to him in a way that he would understand. Everything I have ever known is here: my family, my home, my friends. I’ve supported myself for the past year and a half, paying my own bills and really establishing myself as an adult. I worked to buy nice things for my apartment and I’m only now settling into everything. I’m not willing to get rid of everything I’ve bought for my apartment because I’ve worked so hard for it. In order to move to the Netherlands I would need to pay for storage fees or shipping fees along with a flight to get there, not to mention application fees for residency and all the legal paperwork. At this point in my life it doesn’t make sense for me to move away. I’m not opposed to sacrifices, but this is just a little too much. Perhaps in a year or two things will be different.
Once I explained all this to Jay he really understood my point of view. He said he was going to try and find a job here once he graduates because he doesn’t want to wait another year or two to be with me. Someday down the road we may end up back in Holland, but I don’t think it’ll be happening this road. With any luck though, we will be together before 2016 comes to a close! Fingers crossed ❤
This post was inspired by the LDRBN blogging prompt: Happy Ending
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