One-Way Ticket to Our New Life

 

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LDRs are filled with those romantic hopes of your SO buying a one-way ticket and moving in with you. They’re filled with the idea that sometime soon you will be starting a new chapter of your life…with the love of your life. The only problem is….there are so many obstacles in the way and not enough people to encourage you through the process. There are no popular movies showing the heartbreak and struggles of closing the distance. None of these mainstream films show the struggles of Visa applications and interviews. There rarely seems to be any mention of the cost of closing the distance either. Often times you just see characters chasing their loved one to the airport and buying a really expensive ticket just to see them again. But even though all of those seem to be missing, the one thing these romantic movies have (usually) is a happy ending.

Today I’m dreaming of what our happy ending to the distanct. I think about when Jay and I will finally be together for longer than a visit. I think about when one of us buys that one-way plane ticket to start a new stage in our lives. And I think about how it could happen this year.

Jay is finishing his master’s program this year and we had discussed what to do afterwards. Ideally we will move in together, but it’s not as much a question of “when” as it is a question of “who” will be moving. I’ve thought about moving to the Netherlands. I think it would be great. The idea of living in Europe has always been a dream of mine, perhaps just because of how they’re portrayed in movies. I began researching the logistics of moving and it got extremely stressful. I am not moving there without a residence or work permit, without a job, and without knowing Dutch. There is just too much stacked against me. My sister is also getting married this coming Fall (yay!) and I am a maid of honor for her wedding. There are a couple of other family reasons that I really cannot move away this year. So I finally told Jay this….

Of course, Jay has lived in the US before. He’s spent half of his live living here. But he is first and foremost a Dutchman and I think living there has really been something he enjoys. He’s doing really well in school, practicing his Dutch (he can speak it fluently, but used primarily English here), and really enjoying the European lifestyle. I don’t want to tear him away from somewhere he loves, but I tried to explain it to him in a way that he would understand. Everything I have ever known is here: my family, my home, my friends. I’ve supported myself for the past year and a half, paying my own bills and really establishing myself as an adult. I worked to buy nice things for my apartment and I’m only now settling into everything. I’m not willing to get rid of everything I’ve bought for my apartment because I’ve worked so hard for it. In order to move to the Netherlands I would need to pay for storage fees or shipping fees along with a flight to get there, not to mention application fees for residency and all the legal paperwork. At this point in my life it doesn’t make sense for me to move away. I’m not opposed to sacrifices, but this is just a little too much. Perhaps in a year or two things will be different.

Once I explained all this to Jay he really understood my point of view. He said he was going to try and find a job here once he graduates because he doesn’t want to wait another year or two to be with me. Someday down the road we may end up back in Holland, but I don’t think it’ll be happening this road. With any luck though, we will be together before 2016 comes to a close! Fingers crossed ❤

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This post was inspired by the LDRBN blogging prompt: Happy Ending

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2 thoughts on “One-Way Ticket to Our New Life

  1. Awww it’s so sweet of him to decide to move to the States, I am sure it won’t be easy for him to do that but he must believe you’re with it. That’s the hard part of long distance, someone has to make the sacrifice and move. We cringe at the reality that one of us will be torn from home, I guess having the comfort of knowing that we going to start a new home with someone we love makes it easier. I guess for me, being torn away from my family is really hard especially because it’s only my parents and my brother in New Zealand, my parents moved us here for a better future and then I’m up and leaving them,it breaks my heart. For me to just sell all my material things for him and move, I would in a heartbeat, we did it when we moved to New Zealand so I know it can be done, literally moved here with the clothes on our backs, and 9 years later it was worth it. I guess it’s weighing over if it would be worth giving up your possessions for someone, but then on the other hand he is established with a good job in a firm that he really wants to be in and has his own place, he is also very very close to his family. We even considered moving somewhere completely new so there’s no room for resentment after a while if one is unhappy that they moved away from home, but we still have at least 2 or 3 years to make that decision, but one of us will inevitably have a one way ticket and one of you will too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, that’s amazing that your family moved to New Zealand for a better life! It seems like you guys made the right decision for your family and it turned out for the best.
      I’m not completely opposed to getting rid of material things, but for me it’s hard because I’ve been on my own for almost two years supporting myself. I pay my own rent, my bills, groceries, flights to see Jay, etc…and when I have a little extra money I can buy something nice for myself or my apartment. I guess it’s just hard because Jay is still in school so almost everything he has was bought by his parents. I’d be upset if I had nothing to show for my hard work (my rent is also quite expensive so I don’t have much actual money).
      But like you said, it really comes down to sacrifices. The biggest reason I’m not willing to move now is family. There are just a lot of things happening now that I can’t leave behind (more details later). I know it will be difficult for Jay as well since he’s gone from the U.S. to Australia to the Netherlands and he’d be coming back to the U.S. all in less than 3 years. His family is also all moving back to Holland in 2016 and he would be leaving. It’s so difficult for each of us, but if all goes well he’ll be buying that one way ticket later this year!
      Thank you for reading and sharing your story. Best of luck ❤

      Like

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