Double Identity


Sometimes I feel like I’m living a double life. I have my real world self and then I have my LDR blogging self. This second persona is one that I adopted when Jay moved away and I started this blog. What began as a casual hobby to help express my feelings developed into a whole new me. That’s not to day I’m creating this false version of myself, but there are some big differences between blogger me and real life me.

For one thing, blogger me is confident. I write all of my thoughts down as a free flowing post and rarely edit them. These are my true opinions and I don’t mind sharing them here. In a real world setting I’d be much more hesitant to share some of the things I discuss on here. It’s that fear of judgment plaguing the back of my mind.

My blogger self is not only more confident in sharing, but also more willing to talk about my relationship. Jay and I keep our relationship relatively private. While we do talk about each other, it’s not usually the focal point of our conversations. I think the long distance aspect makes me less inclined to talk about us as well. LDRs can be a controversial topic and I get tired of hearing other peoples’ doubts and concerns over it. Blogger me doesn’t care if people have negative opinions…that’s why I write what I want on here! I’m very open about my LDR on here because I love sharing with people who willingly listen to me.

Perhaps the best thing about blogger me is her optimism. Sometimes all I can feel is the social pressures, work stresses, and anger towards the inhumanity in the world…but the blogger me doesn’t think about those things. When I blog, I feel full of life and happiness. The optimism shines through my writing and the real life me feels so much better after writing posts. Sometimes I wish I was more like blogger me in that respect. Being optimistic can have an inclredibly positive impact on your life.

I think I’ll keep this whole “double personality” thing going for a while because I honestly love both mes! Do you feel like you take on a different persona when you blog? What’s different between the “real life” you and the blogger you? I’d love to hear a comparison! Comment below πŸ™‚

 

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9 thoughts on “Double Identity

  1. I so can relate to this. When I blog I feel so true, authentic and free to share. The me that is at home and work is also confident but it is not the way I am when writing. Writing is my way of escaping stress and pressure. I write because I want to and not because I need to like when I work to earn a paycheck. I love both me’s as well but If I could write all the time to replace my working responsibilities, I honestly would not really miss the other me that much. Nice read!

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    1. I’m so glad that you can relate to this. When I was writing the post I wasn’t sure how people would respond to it. It’s true though, if I could blog for a living I would quit my job right now. There’s something so powerful about blogging because it really makes me feel like a different person (in all the best ways). I love how you say blogging helps you “escape” stress and pressure. I feel the same way! Thank you for reading. πŸ™‚

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  2. I can relate to having a more optimistic blogger persona compared to my actual persona. In real life, I can be much more critical and quick to fret over the smallest thing. It’s the perfectionist in me, I guess.

    One thing I love about writing is that it allows me to sort my thoughts and get them out in the open, even if they’re not entirely pleasant. Tonight, I had a moment that I wasn’t very proud of. What did I do? I went home and wrote about it. (And it’ll be published in a couple of weeks. πŸ™‚ ) As a result, I feel much better and am not as hard on myself as I was. Perhaps the two personas have intertwined.

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    1. I think the two versions of myself definitely become intertwined at times as well. I too am a perfectionist and sometimes I get really frustrated over the smallest things. My blogger self doesn’t care if something isn’t perfect. To be honest, I don’t edit most of my posts. I write how I feel and that’s just how it stays. I’m glad that you can relate to this and I look forward to reading that post!

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  3. Omg, I feel exactly the same way! I also feel like I’m completely two different people when I’m at home and when I’m out and about, for some reason. Not to mention, I kind of feel like my personality changes when my language changes; I’m much more quiet, shy and reserved when I speak Finnish and much less likely to engage in a conversation with a stranger or smile at someone. Weird, life is weird. But I do think that these different identities are helpful in order to find out who you truly are – and that’s something that can take an entire lifetime to figure out.

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    1. Hahaha, I think it’s so funny that your personality changes depending on the language you’re speaking. I’m trying to learn Dutch so if I’m successful we’ll see how different Dutch me can be, haha! It is true that I change a little bit depending on where I am in a day. Work me is slightly different from social me and those are all different from blogging me. I agree that all of these mini selves are important in finding out who we truly are so being aware of the different personas brings us one step closer to accomplishing that!

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  4. Great post! I can totally relate to the feeling of living a double life. In real life I am not super open about my feelings and was very hesitant to start blogging about my LDR. Blogger me is open and very honest, which as I started writing, I was very surprised about. Thanks for sharing this! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I’m glad you could connect with this post! I am also not very open with my emotions and wasn’t sure how blogging would help me (or if it would). I think being able to “hide” behind my computer screen and the internet helps blogger me be more honest! I’m glad that blogging was pleasantly surprising for you. It definitely was for me as well! Thank you for reading. πŸ™‚

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