LDRs: A Lifelong Struggle


Being in a LDR is like being tied to a bungee cord and shoved off a mountain. You will have a lot of ups, but more downs. Each time you discover a problem, you’ll feel like you’re plummeting farther away from your goal of being together. But what happens when you have the end in sight? One of you is making the move to close the gap. Everything seems to be adding up and you’ll finally be pulled back onto that mountain top together. But what comes after that may be even harder than the challenge of distance.

When someone leaves their life to join you in yours, this is a huge step. They are packing their bags, leaving their home, and joining you in a foreign place just so you can be together. It’s amazing, it’s wonderful, it’s finally happening! You move in together, you get married, and start a whole life together. But what happens if they want to move back  to their home? They sacrificed a lot to move when you wanted to close the distance, but now it’s your turn to make some changes.

For those of us in a LDR, closing the gap seems like the most difficult thing in the world. Unfortunately, this is only the beginning of these problems. Since you are forging a bond between two cultures, you need to be open to the idea of moving to your SO’s home-country further down the road.

These are things that worry me every day. I will forever be dangling on the edge of that mountaintop, waiting for the next gust of wind to knock me off my feet. Somewhere down the road (assuming we are still together) I will be hopping on a plane towards my new home in Europe. It will be my turn to abandon the comfort of my home to start a new chapter somewhere foreign to me.

Eliminating the distance between you two will only expand the distance between him and his family or between you and your family. There will always be too much distance for someone so you can’t get too comfortable.  Just because the distance between you is closing doesn’t mean you’re free of distance forever. You may always have to balance between family relationships and distance, never fully escaping LDRs. Take your LDR day-by-day and embrace the present.


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