Jay is coming to visit in a little over a month. His thesis is almost complete and soon he’ll be packing up to move back to the USA. It’s this time period that I can’t seem to escape, the period where I know he’s moving back, but there’s no definite date. We are so close to bridging this gap that I can already picture him rolling his suitcases through JFK as I pick him up for the last time. But when will this long awaited day finally arrive here? There are still too many unknowns to be certain…
Once you finally decide to close the distance there are still so many things that need to fall in place in order for it to actually happen and it can be very stressful for you. It’s the never-ending curse of the LDR. Nothing is ever certain. There are legalities to take care of, expenses to pay, and so many other logistics you never would even consider before being in the situation. You may become easily overwhelmed with all that has to happen to finally fulfill your dream of closing the distance. Follow this simple countdown checklist for a quick guide to ending the separation and finally being together in person for more than a visit:
5. Choose who will move. Is it realistic for you to leave home right now? With everything going on with your family, friends, work, and other personal things it may not be a good time for that. Regardless of who decides to make the move, you should both be making some sacrifices.
4. Look at the Legal Shtuff. If your SO isn’t a citizen of your country than you need to check all the laws and regulations. He can’t just fly over and stay as long as he wants! Most countries allow you to visit for only 3 months at a time without some sort of resident permit. These can also be difficult to get so be sure to do your research.
3. Save! Save! Save! It seems like LDRs are all about money. The visits alone were expensive, but moving expenses can be very high between countries. You may want to close the gap now, but only if you have the funds to support it.
2. Jobs. Start helping your SO look for a job before they arrive because the earlier they get an interview the more likely they will be to secure a job. Non-citizens can have tremendous difficulty finding employment…start looking early!
1. Be Prepared. Everything may not fall into place. You may need to reschedule closing the gap because a visa didn’t come through yet or you can’t afford the moving costs. Be prepared for this and anything else that may be thrown at you. LDRs are challenging, but much less if you’re prepared for all possible outcomes.
Whether or not Jay moves here by the end of 2016 I will be happy because I know the end is near. We are closing the gap soon and I couldn’t be happier. We may hit some bumps along the way (in fact, I’m sure we will), but I’m prepared to wait a little bit longer if it means this time he’ll be here to stay.