The second night is always the hardest for me. The first night is always the same day that Jay leaves so it’s still too fresh to realize it. The next morning feels a bit strange, but nice and peaceful. It’s not until I come home from work to a dark and quiet apartment the day after Jay leaves that it all sinks in.
I hate that feeling. The reality of our distance all comes swooping back into my life. I am faced with the fact that Jay isn’t here anymore. We won’t see one another for months. He won’t drive me to work or play tennis with me afterwards. I won’t have him there to cook with me and share dinner. There is over 3500 miles separating us until I fly to him in December. And tonight I am slapped in the face with that realization.
But I know tomorrow will be better. I’ll wake up and note that Jay isn’t here with me. I’ll go about my business, working throughout the day and coming home to cook, clean, and study alone. And that’s okay. It’s much harder to accept that he’s gone if I dwell on it for too long. That’s why I just give myself one night, that second night, to reflect on our visit together and acknowledge the emptiness without him.
Tomorrow is another day.