Three Things to Keep in Mind if You’re Considering a LDR

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Long distance relationships are becoming more and more common, or maybe I’m just noticing more of them. People from all over the world are linking up in the hopes that one day they will be able to close the gap between them. While LDRs are more prevalent nowadays, they aren’t necessarily easier to manage. If you’ve found yourself enthralled with someone across the globe from you, there are a lot of things to consider.

1. LDRs aren’t for everyone. While some people adopt the philosophy that “you can do anything if you set your mind to it” I take a very different stance on long distance relationships. I don’t believe that everyone can handle the social, financial, and emotional pressures of a LDR. Every person has a different style when it comes to romantic relationships. There are several people who are not emotionally strong enough for a LDR. There are others who cannot survive without the physical interactions in a relationship. And some people cannot adjust to communications with a time difference. But that’s okay. Everyone is different. It’s important to reflect on your own preferences and desires before committing to a LDR. If you’re someone who needs to hug or wants long Skype calls every day, a LDR might not be manageable for you.

2. A positive mind goes a long way. I cannot stress enough the importance of positive vibes. People who focus on the negative aspects of a LDR, crying over the separation or getting angry for difficulties scheduling a meet-up, will have a much harder time adjusting to a LDR. Focusing on the positive things (like how awesome your SO is, or how much fun it is to get/send snail mail) will help boost your mood and have a positive impact on your relationship. The more you think positively, the better you will feel and the more fun you will have in your LDR. LDRs are difficult, but if you can push aside the negatives you have a much better chance of maintaining a happy and fun LDR.

3. Don’t over-plan. This is a really tough thing to do for some people, but don’t make a strict schedule to follow for your LDR. Because of the nature of LDRs you won’t likely be able to keep up with it. Maybe you don’t have enough money to send a birthday gift or he can’t get enough days off of work for a visit. It’s okay! You should always have a general idea of what you want to do, but don’t enforce a strict timeline. This allows for easy disappointment if something falls through. Don’t have enough money to send a gift? No worries! Wait until you do have some extra cash and send a random package to your SO. They’ll not only appreciate the gesture, but they’ll love the spontaneity of the gift!

LDRs are stressful. Not everyone is equipped to handle a LDR. A positive mindset can help with the everyday stresses, but both partners need to recognize whether their preferences will allow for a successful LDR or cause more tension in the relationship. It’s important not to plan your entire relationship and to allow for flexibility. The most successful relationships are the ones where neither partner feels pressured from a relationship plan. Recognize your own needs, adopt a positive outlook, and allow for flexibility if you want any chance of a successful LDR.

 

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